I Don't Have it All Together

by fitforthesoul in , ,


Ever since long ago up until somewhat recently, I used to believe that I had control over every one of my emotions, cravings, aversions, and all that good stuff.  I used to say to myself, “pffff I can have perfect control over what I say, eat, and even feel…even when I do get pregnant.”  Not so, my friends! In a strange sense I feel like I’ve been getting humbled in my ways of thinking, and perhaps that’s called ‘further maturing’, simply put.  Let me share a little insight from what I’ve been experiencing lately.  Just about a little over a week ago, I was starting to become an emotional mess.  Although it may sound strange coming from a you’re-pregnant-and-supposed-to-be-over-the-moon young woman, I have to admit that it’s not always a bed of roses around these here parts.

Phew.

There.  I said it!  I feel much better.  And I’m human.  Weee!

It is really difficult to admit that sometimes I’m not as thankful as I should be for obvious reasons such as feeling physical discomfort day in and day out—not to mention, I guess I’ve also been a bit more sensitive and impatient than what is normal in my everyday life.  But God has brought to my realization that it goes much deeper than physical and emotional discomfort.  More than anything, it seems that I’ve been letting fear seep into my thoughts because I feel like I’m being the most inadequate mom around the block.  Sometimes I entertain worry of finances, and other times I just simply feel my flesh dying bit by bit, which is always a good thing when it comes to living a life that isn’t about me.  However, something really clicked with me as I texted back and forth with a dear friend of mine.  My friend told me that it’s not that I’m dying in the process of being pregnant, but I’m actually starting to live.

Huh…now that’s something to scratch my head about!  Words that are so simple as the ones uttered by my friend can be so much more revolutionary if I let them speak to me and if I actually change my perspective.  So even though I’ve been praying and coming to God in brokenness as I learn to trust Him more, this is my declaration that I will not let the enemy play with my thoughts and heart any longer!  The Word says that perfect love casts out all fear, so I’m going to let His love cast out every ounce of fear out of my life.  I can tell that motherhood and all the events leading up to it are definitely a challenge, and that is why I want others to know that it’s not always going to be peachy and perfect.  But what I want everyone to remember more than anything is the fact that it’s a journey of learning and letting go, and through that process we become more mature and better individuals.  Like I always say, any kind of chiseling (big or small) of our character will shape us to become the masterpiece that God already sees in us.  Smile

Okay, so I’m sure that was a lot to take in for an intro paragraph.  In order to lighten things up, I want to [finally] share with you some food related things!  I really mean it when I say that I’m excited to do this because I’m finally finding out what works for my nauseated stomach, and coming from a pregnant lady that’s a big deal you know!

Oh how I missed these WIAW editions!  I am back.  At least for now, so thank you Jenn!

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Sometimes when I’m at work from 9 to 5 I’ll make a pit stop at The Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf to get their tea lattes.  I’m not joking when I say that they have some of the best tea lattes around!  My favorites are Moroccan Mint and Jasmine Dragon, and for the full flavor of tea I always ask them to make it with the actual tea bags instead of the powder.

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Since we had a huge Thanksgiving feast at our place and I finally mustered up the courage to actually start cooking again, we ended up with massive leftovers—particularly ham and turkey.  And you know what?  I’ve been loving them and eating them every single day!  Nope, I’m not tired of them either.  I’m also beginning to think that I’m going to have a boy because I’m channeling a lot of the same cravings and aversions as Ashley, who just so happened to discover that she’ll be giving birth to a son! Open-mouthed smile

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Like Ashley, salty foods have been sitting well in my stomach and simple things like fresh fruit and plain milk have been my saviors.  I love the simple stuff!  The refreshing taste of milk and cold juicy fruit is a big relief when everything in the fridge makes me gag.

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This morning I toasted two Van’s Waffles and sandwiched them with a pan fried egg, provolone, and leftover ham.  I highly recommend this combination whether you are male or female. Winking smile  These flavors don’t discriminate.

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During my lunch break I broke out my far from picturesque container filled with sauteed broccolini, bok choy, tomatoes, and olives.  I sauteed everything in soy sauce, water, sesame oil and garlic.

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I also had a corn tortilla filled with garlic hummus and avocado, which is a much welcomed source of protein since I’ve been loading up on meat.

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And if you know me well enough, you would know that I love giving baked goodies and sweets to those around me.  Well, right after finishing up my lunch I scurried over to Mimi’s Café to get muffins for my boss and co-worker, only to find out that everyone is on a “diet”.  Hah!  I respected their choice so I took the liberty to have many a few bites from each muffin.  The carrot and blueberry muffins are the best by far when it comes to Mimi’s.

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Oh my goodness!  Do you see that little pudge starting right below the belt line?  That’s a pregnant belly beginning to manifest itself.  Ahhh!  It’s crazy!  The baby is currently about the size of a fig, and so far it seems as though most of my weight is going to my chest (ahem, breasts) along with a whole lot of retained water.  Oh yeah, about the socks…don’t judge me.  I had a busy day!

I hope you have a beautiful rest of the week, and stay strong y’all!

Do fruits call out to you during chilly weather?  Which ones are your current faves?

-Mine are grapes, watermelon, orange, and apples.

Love,

Ellie <33